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I was feeling his kiss like it was burning my skin, or maybe it was just the wine, I have no idea. “Don’t worry, my little brother, you will find love” he told me then he gently kissed me on the forehead. This question saddened me, which he immediately noticed. He told me he wasn’t dating her anymore and asked me about my own love life, with a bit of a smile in the corner of his mouth. It was already late into the night when we finally ran out of subjects to discuss and just to keep the atmosphere vivid, I asked him about his girlfriend. We sat and he told me stories about his life in the army and they kept becoming funnier as we included more wine into the equation. I was feeling ecstatic and my blood was pumping and I was warm and a bit dizzy, like I was drunk. I realized that I love my brother more than anything and I didn’t hold back from hugging him with all my heart. And one day Timothy visited me unnoticed and that was probably one of the most beautiful surprises that I have ever had. Then after a year or so his company was finally assigned with a new location, closer to our hometown. I have made some friends in college, but I just felt it was not the same. I can’t deny that it was a huge deal for me to be separated from Timothy, since he has been my only support and confident and the only true friend that I ever had. Then he joined the army and we kept seeing each other only like twice a month, since I was also busy with college. You would have think that it would have been bothered him to know that I wasn’t too fond of her. It also seemed awkward to me that he never said anything about it. I just didn’t like her and I was under the impression that Timothy had noticed that. I disliked her immediately, although I didn’t know at the time what was the reason for my aversion towards her. He had a girlfriend named Carla and he was dating her for two months when I first got a chance to meet her. Also, he was the first to understand that I was gay, without me ever telling him and I respected the fact that he never forced me to discuss the matter. He was the only one that truly understood who I was and he was always by my side. The only true friend that I had was my brother, Timothy. In fact, it seemed like it was the other way around, because now they won’t be anywhere near me and I found myself excluded from their circle. Of course, this only lasted just for a short while, because Timothy was always there for me and soon everyone started respecting me. Soon, as it always happens, they began making fun of me, just because I was more reclusive than others and they called me queer, lady-boy and always teased me about my looks, since I was a skinny guy, not much into sports. Since I was more attracted to the same gender, I started becoming shier and I think I was the only one who didn’t take part of the discussions. They used to flirt with girls a lot and each of them bragged with their achievements. Since then my life started to gradually change and I would say for the worse, because I found it increasingly difficult to socialize with boys of my age. However, it seemed like I was finding some of the boys sexy and appealing and with time I knew that I was gay. Only then I realized that I was not much into girls as other boys of my age.
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It was not only I was 15 that I started seeing my brother in a different light. I have always admired him and I have always considered him my hero, so strong and wise and protective.